i have had my share of personal trials. joining a Christian community did not spare me from any difficulty - spiritual or otherwise. in fact, i guess i could say that a lot of the tests and trials i have had to endure came to me when i started the Christian walk.
just recently, i experienced another painful "turning point" in my life. in that moment of doubt and confusion, i asked the Lord how He could allow me to go through so much pain. i wondered how much more I could bear. i questioned if He was listening to me..if He even cared.
but God did listen.. and He did care. He knew how much sorrow i could endure. during those moments when I felt i could no longer take the pain, the Lord would make His presence felt: a simple text message.. an unexpected visit from a friend.. a gentle rainfall.. a special song on the radio.. even a timely quote from a fortune cookie. not exactly what others would call miracles. just ordinary, mundane everyday things.. that became special to me because He sent them at the time i needed them most.
right now, i am a lot better. i have peace.. i have hope. i'm sure the Lord has His reasons for allowing me to go through my dark moments. maybe because of the pain, i will learn to seek Him more. perhaps because of the experience, i will become a better person - more mature, more trustworthy, more disciplined. perhaps because of what happened, i will learn to trust in Him more.. be able to listen to Him even when He is silent. maybe i still have to learn a lot of things.. maybe i still need to grow in so many ways.
a friend sent me this text message once: "Life is like a piano. The white keys represent happiness and the black keys show sadness. But as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also create music."
and i guess he is right. there are a lot of white keys in my life.. a lot of reasons to be grateful to God. He may have allowed a few black keys to be played.. but the Lord has always used them to create wonderful melodies in my heart. and i know, in time, the Great Composer will allow me to hear the beautiful song that He has made me into.. Ü
