fill in the blanks

“the heart of __________ is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”(Honore de Balzac)

“__________‘s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking. it never fails nor falters, even though the heart is breaking” (Helen Rice)

“ __________ understands what a child does not say.”

it isn’t so difficult to fill in the blanks, is it? :) the first time i read these, i initially thought the answer was “GOD” :) but when i looked at the original quotes, i found out that the missing phrase was “A MOTHER” ü

a jewish proverb says, “god could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.” well, we know that god is everywhere.. but i’m still grateful he made mothers. or at least, that he made mine, hehe ü ‘coz i believe that, as soon as we were born, god wanted us to get a glimpse of his face and his love - through our mothers ü
my mom is not very extravagant in her show of affection. she’s quite shy in that way. but she is one of the most loving people i know. in the way she honored her parents.. in her dedication to her family.. her commitment to work and her persistence in prayer, i learned that god wasn’t a faraway deity, but someone who’s real. someone who’s part of our daily life. someone who *is* family.

as i grew up, my mom has always been there to listen to my sumbong’s and to wipe away my tears. she would be the first to take my side.. give moral support.. and make me feel that i am not alone. thanks to my mom, i never saw the lord as someone unapproachable. and i was always confident that he would hear me out - no matter what.

so i guess how i know god is a product of how i know my mom. and i’m very fortunate that he has blessed me with a mother who is able to show me who he is.. through her love and through her faith ü

happy mother’s day, mom :) i love you ü

warrior is a child

people say that i’m amazing, i’m strong beyond my years. but they don’t see inside of me, i’m hiding all these tears..

sis yna led the afternoon worship on the second day of the leaders’ retreat last weekend. and one of the songs in her lineup was “warrior is a child” by gary v. when i learned that she would be using the song, i knew immediately that the lord was going to make me experience something special in our retreat. and i got that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach - the kind you get when you’re nervous and excited and you’re expecting something to happen but you’re dreading it at the same time.

you see, this particular song is special to me. because during my early years in the renewal, that’s the song i’d always sing or meditate on when i pray. it was like my “theme song” with god. because in spite of the facade of maturity and toughness that i put on when i’m with my peers, deep inside, i’ve always known that i am simply a child before him.

but time went by.. and a lot of things have happened to me. i became involved in many, many activities, both professionally and in ministry service. i lost friends and gained new ones. i learned that trust is easily broken and very difficult to regain. and i traded my idealism for cynicism.. steadfast faith for apathy. all this.. while i continued to serve in the community.

so it was with some trepidation that i listened to *that* song again. i was fully aware of how far i’d come from “my old self.” and i wasn’t sure i wanted to remember “the old times” i had with god. i’ve changed so much through the years - i didn’t feel like a trusting, loving child at all. i felt more like a rebellious adolescent who refuses to let anyone in.

but i guess, deep inside, i always knew the truth: no matter how many times i turn away.. or how many times i tell myself that apathy is the solution to my pain, i would *always* come running back home to him.

they don’t know that i come running home when i fall down. they don’t know who picks me up when no one is around. i drop my sword and cry for just a while. ‘coz deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child..

i thank god that he still moves mountains in my life :) and i’m grateful that, in spite of the walls i’ve put up and the defensive armor i’ve worn to keep myself from getting hurt, he’s still able to get through to me.

and now i’m ready to let him love me again. the warrior is a child once more :)

sa paglilingkod may saya

panginoon ituro mo ang landas ng pagmamahal
maging bukas ang palad sa pagtulong sa kapwa ko
turuan mong sarili ko’y ialay para sa ‘yo
tulungan mong maglingkod sa ‘yo
hirap ma’y danasin ko
sapagka’t tanging sa kapwa lang makikita’ng
pag-ibig mo
at sa paglilingkod may saya sa puso ko

22 abril 2008. makabuluhan ang araw na ito para sa 93 na mga mag-aaral na magsisipagtapos mamayang hapon. kaninang umaga, ginanap ang kanilang baccalaureate ceremonies sa paaralan.

alas sais nang umaga, nasa paaralan na sila. nagkukuwentuhan, nagkakatuwaan at siyempre, nagkokodakan ü ang mga estudyante kong laging nahuhuli sa alas-otso na klase nila sa matematika, hayun.. nauna pa sa aking dumating sa kampus ü

ako naman, gumising nang alas kwatro y media. nagmadaling maligo, magpaganda (haha.. kailangan eh :p) at mag-ayos ng sarili. dala-dala ko ang camera, ang recorder, mga lyric sheet at mga kopya ng babasahin bagamat kulang sa tulog, di pa kumakain ng agahan at maraming kailangang asikasuhin, masaya kong binati ang mga bata. dahil alam kong minsan lamang sa buhay nila magaganap ang ganitong okasyon. at ako naman, na di lamang kanilang guro kundi kaibigan na rin, ay nakikiisa sa kanilang kagalakan ü

inaamin ko, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay madali para sa akin ang maging masaya. madalas, lalung-lalo na ngayong summer na napakaraming mga gawaing naghihintay na mapagtuunan ng pansin. kadalasan ay ‘di ko na nakukuhang ngumiti; minsan nga ay nasusungitan ko ang ilang mga kasama ko - sa trabaho, at pati na rin sa community.

ngunit ngayong umaga, nagpapasalamat ako sa panginoon dahil pinadama ulit niya sa akin ang kasiyahang bunga ng paglilingkod. naniniwala akong hindi lamang sa simbahan at sa community maisasagawa ang paninilbihan sa kanya. sa ating mga opisina.. sa ating mga pamilya.. at sa lahat ng mga taong ating nakakasalamuha.. tayo ay maaaring maglingkod sa kanya ü

maraming salamat, panginoon, dahil ipinakita mo sa akin ang iyong pagmamahal sa ngiti at nagniningning na mata ng mga taong pinagsisilbihan ko. tunay ngang sa paglilingkod ay may saya.. basta’t narito ka sa puso ko ü

empty

this is what my brain is like as i’m typing this piece. empty. once again i find myself staring at my pc screen for too many long hours.. without having typed a coherent sentence. it’s not that i don’t have anything to write about. in fact, i have quite a number of topics lined up. but the words just won’t come :(

fatigue.. sleep deprivation.. overly-hectic skeds and piles of unfinished work (ack!! the deadlines!!!) all contribute to my current condition. but after fruitless hours in front of my computer, i finally decided to just write about what i’m experiencing - emptiness :p

for me, not being able to direct my thoughts is a very frightening experience. i’m used to planning my day.. almost to the point of OC-ness. i want to be sure of things - where i’ll be going, what i’ll be doing at what time, how i’ll go to a certain place, etc. and i’m used to having *lots* of ideas in my head. and i mean *lots* hahaha (for those not in the know, i’m the multitasking queen :p) so tonight, as i type down these words.. i feel.. impatient.

but being empty is not always a bad thing. because, oftentimes, “one has to empty himself before he can be filled” and there are moments when we simply have to wait.. to rest.. to “do nothing”.. so that we can accomplish what we have been tasked to do :)

this easter season presents us with christianity’s most powerful symbol of hope: the empty tomb. in the cross, we have proof of god’s tremendous love for us. but in his empty tomb, we have the hope of both salvation and resurrection :)

brothers and sisters, we all have burdens. we have our plans.. we have our own ideas of how things should be. but we do not simply stop at laying our cares before the foot of the cross. because our true redemption.. our true hope comes from emptying ourselves to receive god’s guidance and lordship over our hearts and minds :)

may he bring you great joy and peace.. and may you continue to trust in his plan for your life!

a blessed easter season to everyone :)

beautiful girls

it never ceases to amaze me. never.

every year, when i attend junior-senior proms, i always find myself surprised to see my students so elegantly.. transfigured! and always, there would be a handful of them that i’d fail to recognize, simply because their transformation is so completely wonderful, it’s hard to match them up to their usual “uniformed” look :)

last saturday (feb 23 - the date of this year’s prom) was no exception. the boys looked dashing in their suits. and the girls.. well, they were all so.. stunning :p they were elegantly dressed; they walked with poise (in high, high heels!!); and not a single strand of hair was out of place. obviously, they spent *a lot* of time preparing for this special occasion.

philippians 3:20-21 says, “but our citizenship is in heaven. and we eagerly await a savior from there, the lord jesus christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” as i sat there observing the juniors and seniors at their best garbs (and mostly, on their best behavior, hehe), i realized that all of us, too, will undergo a similar transformation - albeit in a much grander scale :)

“..he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of christ jesus.” philippians 1:6 we will not always be the way we are - with our frail bodies and our numerous imperfections. someday, the lord who called us in his love will make us truly glorious. he will transform, not just our bodies, but our character.. so that we will be just as he is: perfect.

brothers and sisters, we are all beautiful in his eyes. because he sees not only what we are right now.. but *what we will be* when we are finally with him :) nevertheless, let’s all do our share and prepare for that special moment, ok? :) because he deserves the best that we can offer.. the best of ourselves :)

so this lenten season, let’s take the time to prepare our bodies and our hearts.. for the love of our lives - our god :)

as for me.. i want to be beautiful - outside and, of course, inside :) because nothing would make me happier than to have him look at me and say, “you are *exactly* the way i want you to be - beautiful and perfect - just like me” :)

irreplaceable

last sunday, mom and i were looking at some clothes at a shop in megamall. mom, wallet in hand, browsed through the different racks while i debated whether i should buy a blouse that caught my eye. next thing i knew, mom was coming over to me in a panic. her wallet was missing.

we were fussing over her missing purse at the store. mom was anxious to find it since, aside from the cash, it also contained her IDs, cards, prayers and some sentimental stuff. after several agonizing minutes, we still couldn’t find it anywhere in the store. we decided to just go home. mom felt really, really down.

then at around 8pm, someone called our house. the caller identified herself as an sm employee. she informed us that my mom’s wallet has been found - without the cash inside, but with all the IDs intact. we all breathed a sigh of relief and whispered a prayer of thanks.
so what did we learn from all this?

* money is, by far, not the most important thing in the world. the money we lose can always be replaced. but the good times, happy memories, and little tokens of love that we keep.. those are truly are more precious than money.

* sometimes, god allows us to go through some not-so-good experiences - whether to teach us a lesson or to manifest his glory. we all learned to be more careful with our things that sunday. and we also recognized his hand working to give back what we thought lost forever.

what would you consider irreplaceable in your life? what counts as your most treasured possession? is it wealth? health? career? reputation? a loved one, perhaps? what if, one day, you were to lose this “irreplaceable” thing? would you still be able to see god’s goodness?

may we always find it in our hearts to trust in the lord and to thank him - regardless of circumstances.

someone to love

“heaven please send to all mankind, understanding and peace of mind. but, if it's not asking too much, please send me someone to love” - sade

it’s *that* time of the year again - when everything seems to be painted in shades of red and pink. when flowers (roses, in particular) are bought even at exorbitant prices. when hundreds of couples h-h-w-w, whispering sweet nothings to each other. yep. it’s *that* crazy day in february - the day of hearts - valentine’s day.

don’t get me wrong. i don’t *hate* this holiday. and though i sometimes get a bit uncomfortable seeing so many couples displaying love & affection, i don’t get all worked up about it. what bugs me about feb14 is the fact that it’s mainly celebrated as a “couples’ day”; and, as a single (read: unattached) person, i can’t help but feel left out.

to be loved - i guess this is something that every one of us wants. after all, it is wonderful to be showered with attention.. to receive tokens of affection.. especially during this day of hearts.
but more than that, i believe we also want to be given the chance to *express* our love. sure, it feels nice to receive flowers.. or chocolates.. or those mushy love notes. but it feels even better (for me, at least) when you have that special someone whom you think about 24/7. that someone you shop presents for. someone you write cheesy lines to. someone you can send sappy text messages to.. or call before you sleep, just to say goodnight.

well, brothers and sisters, i believe that if we feel the need to express our love, the lord has an even greater desire to show us his love and affection :) he certainly thinks of us day and night. he provides us with all our needs and showers us with his blessings. he gives us his holy word - filled with promises of love and mercy. he patiently waits to talk to us before the day ends.. and he is there to eagerly greet us as we awake each morning :)

looking for someone to love? why not spend this day with him “who first loved us” (1 john 4:19)? you can be sure that with him, you will never feel left out :) happy valentine’s day, everyone! :)