i was browsing through the racks of a clothing store one day when my eyes fell upon a cute top. i liked the color and the design.. it didn’t cost much.. and it fit me quite well. upon closer inspection, though, i was dismayed to find a small tear in the fabric of the shirt. hmm. so i asked the saleslady to get me another one from their stock. unfortunately, she said that’s the *last* one. uh oh.
i knew the shirt was defective. i knew it wasn’t the perfect buy i thought it was at first. but i really, really, really wanted it!!! so i looked the other way and bought it anyway. and as soon as i got home, i tried to patch up the tear. but since i’m not so good with needle and thread, i wasn’t able to fix it as well as i wanted to. *sigh*
then a few days after, i saw that same exact shirt on the rack.. in another branch of the said store!! auuuuggh!! now, everytime i see my shirt, i want to pound myself on the head for my impatience and lack of self-control :(
right now, bro bo sanchez’ words of wisdom come to mind:
the enemy of the best is not the bad. the enemy of the best is the good.
he says that oftentimes, we don’t *discern* between right and wrong. when we ask God for help in making our decisions, we don’t present Him with one righteous and one sinful option. we choose between two right choices - it’s only a matter of deciding which is actually *best* for us.
but sometimes, in our haste, we take things into our own hands. we make decisions without bothering to consult the Lord. and we end up with something *good*.. something that’s “pwede na”.. when what He really wanted to give us was the *best* that’s why it takes a lot of patience, as well as “tuning in” to God, in order to make sure we’re getting the best that He has to offer to us.
life presents us with so many options: career choices, job opportunities, communities to join, relationships to build. the variety of choices can be daunting. but with the Lord’s guidance and grace, we can be confident that we will receive what He best intends for us :)
and though we may be stuck with a torn shirt or two in our lifetime, we can rest assured that He will eventually provide us with the one He’s “custom made” for us. no holes. no tears. no defects. the perfect fit :)
let’s wait on the Lord to point out to us His best blessings, shall we? :)
Monday, June 25, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
just a few inches
“the majority of lost objects are right where you figure-once you take a moment to stop and figure..." -prof. solomon
i was listening to a christian radio program last week - and the topic was “how to find lost objects.” which kinda surprised me.. ‘coz what does *that* have to do with the Bible, huh?! anyway. that’s where i first heard of the “eureka zone.”
according to prof. solomon, majority of the objects we misplace are actually found right where we lost them. or at least, they are found no more than 18 inches from their original locaiton. this region is what he calls the eureka zone.
it’s been shown that most of the time, the object we are looking for is actually right in front of our eyes. but it’s rendered “invisible” to us because (1) we’re too busy looking elsewhere; (2) our eyes are not focused on the object; or (3) we’ve forgotten exactly what the object looked like.
kinda like what happens with me and the Lord. sometimes, i’d feel lonely or sad.. and i’d long for His presence. i’d feel like i’d lost Him.. and i’d go searching for Him in all sorts of weird places (doing weird things along the way, too!). sometimes i’d get too busy in my search. other times i’d get distracted (by people, by work, and yes, even by service). and after a while, i’d just realize that i’d forgotten what (or rather, WHO) got me searching in the first place.
as members of this community, i’m quite sure we’ve all conducted our own search for the missing/silent/lost God. we all know what it’s like to thirst for His presence and His love. it’s probably what brought us here to rivers, in the first place.
but we also know by now that it’s not really the Lord who’s missing/lost. we’re the ones who got lost. yet, no matter how far we may have wandered from Him, when we seek Him, we will find Him. He will always be in our eureka zone. no more than a couple of inches from where we stand ü
and we also know that even if we tire in our search for Him, He will never tire in His search for us. we are never away from His thoughts.. because we are always in His heart ü
“i once was lost but now am found.. was blind but now i see..”
lost and found. ‘tis truly amazing to find the Lord.. and to be found by Him ü
i was listening to a christian radio program last week - and the topic was “how to find lost objects.” which kinda surprised me.. ‘coz what does *that* have to do with the Bible, huh?! anyway. that’s where i first heard of the “eureka zone.”
according to prof. solomon, majority of the objects we misplace are actually found right where we lost them. or at least, they are found no more than 18 inches from their original locaiton. this region is what he calls the eureka zone.
it’s been shown that most of the time, the object we are looking for is actually right in front of our eyes. but it’s rendered “invisible” to us because (1) we’re too busy looking elsewhere; (2) our eyes are not focused on the object; or (3) we’ve forgotten exactly what the object looked like.
kinda like what happens with me and the Lord. sometimes, i’d feel lonely or sad.. and i’d long for His presence. i’d feel like i’d lost Him.. and i’d go searching for Him in all sorts of weird places (doing weird things along the way, too!). sometimes i’d get too busy in my search. other times i’d get distracted (by people, by work, and yes, even by service). and after a while, i’d just realize that i’d forgotten what (or rather, WHO) got me searching in the first place.
as members of this community, i’m quite sure we’ve all conducted our own search for the missing/silent/lost God. we all know what it’s like to thirst for His presence and His love. it’s probably what brought us here to rivers, in the first place.
but we also know by now that it’s not really the Lord who’s missing/lost. we’re the ones who got lost. yet, no matter how far we may have wandered from Him, when we seek Him, we will find Him. He will always be in our eureka zone. no more than a couple of inches from where we stand ü
and we also know that even if we tire in our search for Him, He will never tire in His search for us. we are never away from His thoughts.. because we are always in His heart ü
“i once was lost but now am found.. was blind but now i see..”
lost and found. ‘tis truly amazing to find the Lord.. and to be found by Him ü
Monday, June 11, 2007
the shoes of a superhero
there is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man--with human flesh.
- frank herbert (dune)
most people think their fathers are heroes. oh, you know.. the kind of guy with lofty ideals.. who stood by his principles.. whose life is a source of inspiration to everybody. and that’s fine.
but i don’t think of my dad as a hero.
i mean, yeah.. my dad is a man of integrity and character. he lives by his principles and he’s certainly an inspiration to a lot of people. i doubt that anybody who knows him would question that.
but to me, he’s so much more than that “high and mighty” heroic figure. my dad has that alter-ego too.. just like those superheroes i get to read about in comic books ü
because though dad could engage you in a very gripping conversation about God, life, religion and service, he’s definitely not someone you would describe as “stern” or “serious.” ü
ask the kids - they’d tell you! i get the feeling they already suspect the truth. i believe they already know that.. yes.. my dad is a superhero! ü his “superpowers” are numerous.. and they include (to name a few):
* charisma. young. old. rich. poor. wise. simpleton. it seems like all kinds of people are drawn to dad. and he’s so genuinely drawn to them as well!
* brainpower. not a lot of people know this, but my dad graduated with a degree in engineering. but nowadays, he’s having lots of fun as a computer whiz. he’s also great at being a techie - giving sound advice on electronic gadgets (PDAs, celphones, etc), a mechanic, electrician, handyman, etc. oh.. and he also served as my math/science tutor in my elem/highschool days.. and i think i turned out fairly okay hehe :p
* super-speed. in the morning, before i’m even able to rub the sleep from my eyes, my dad’s already cooked breakfast, set the table, fed the fish, watered the plants/washed the car, arranged my mom’s medicine and prepared my ‘baon’ (complete with a note!) all that in under an hour! whew! :p
* special ESP. you know how people always talk about “mother’s intuition?” well, my dad has “father’s intuition” ü he always seems to know when i’m troubled, depressed or in need. i don’t have to say anything.. he’s just *know.* and then, to make everything all better, he uses his...
* healing powers. whether it’s a headache, tummyache, backache or heartache.. dad always seems to be able to make the pain go away. through his therapeutic massage and his calming words, dad has the wonderful ability to make everything a-ok ü
as a kid, i always thought my dad could do *anything* - i probably wouldn’t have been surprised if someone told me dad could fly ü it’s cool.. having the kind of father your friends wish they had. it’s also cool to have a dad who “grew up” along with you.. who stood by you as your interests shifted from toys to books to guys (then back to books and toys, hahaha!). having the kind of father that i have certainly ROCKS.
now, as a grownup, i know my dad could not do everything. (well, at least i know he couldn’t fly, hehe). but still, i’d have to say that having him for a dad still ROCKS ü i’ve been gifted with the best dad i could ever ask for.
well, the best *human* dad i could ask for, that is ü
and when times comes for me to become a parent, i know i’m going to have very large shoes to fill. i may have the genes.. but, as we see in the comics, children of superheroes do not always inherit their powers, haha.
but though my dad’s superhero shoes are large, thankfully, they’re light. because they’re worn by someone whose heart is buoyed with love.. just as my Heavenly Father’s heart is filled with great love for me ü
and who knows, maybe someday, with His help, i’ll be the kind of “superparent” i’ve always seen my dad to be ü
- frank herbert (dune)
most people think their fathers are heroes. oh, you know.. the kind of guy with lofty ideals.. who stood by his principles.. whose life is a source of inspiration to everybody. and that’s fine.
but i don’t think of my dad as a hero.
i mean, yeah.. my dad is a man of integrity and character. he lives by his principles and he’s certainly an inspiration to a lot of people. i doubt that anybody who knows him would question that.
but to me, he’s so much more than that “high and mighty” heroic figure. my dad has that alter-ego too.. just like those superheroes i get to read about in comic books ü
because though dad could engage you in a very gripping conversation about God, life, religion and service, he’s definitely not someone you would describe as “stern” or “serious.” ü
ask the kids - they’d tell you! i get the feeling they already suspect the truth. i believe they already know that.. yes.. my dad is a superhero! ü his “superpowers” are numerous.. and they include (to name a few):
* charisma. young. old. rich. poor. wise. simpleton. it seems like all kinds of people are drawn to dad. and he’s so genuinely drawn to them as well!
* brainpower. not a lot of people know this, but my dad graduated with a degree in engineering. but nowadays, he’s having lots of fun as a computer whiz. he’s also great at being a techie - giving sound advice on electronic gadgets (PDAs, celphones, etc), a mechanic, electrician, handyman, etc. oh.. and he also served as my math/science tutor in my elem/highschool days.. and i think i turned out fairly okay hehe :p
* super-speed. in the morning, before i’m even able to rub the sleep from my eyes, my dad’s already cooked breakfast, set the table, fed the fish, watered the plants/washed the car, arranged my mom’s medicine and prepared my ‘baon’ (complete with a note!) all that in under an hour! whew! :p
* special ESP. you know how people always talk about “mother’s intuition?” well, my dad has “father’s intuition” ü he always seems to know when i’m troubled, depressed or in need. i don’t have to say anything.. he’s just *know.* and then, to make everything all better, he uses his...
* healing powers. whether it’s a headache, tummyache, backache or heartache.. dad always seems to be able to make the pain go away. through his therapeutic massage and his calming words, dad has the wonderful ability to make everything a-ok ü
as a kid, i always thought my dad could do *anything* - i probably wouldn’t have been surprised if someone told me dad could fly ü it’s cool.. having the kind of father your friends wish they had. it’s also cool to have a dad who “grew up” along with you.. who stood by you as your interests shifted from toys to books to guys (then back to books and toys, hahaha!). having the kind of father that i have certainly ROCKS.
now, as a grownup, i know my dad could not do everything. (well, at least i know he couldn’t fly, hehe). but still, i’d have to say that having him for a dad still ROCKS ü i’ve been gifted with the best dad i could ever ask for.
well, the best *human* dad i could ask for, that is ü
and when times comes for me to become a parent, i know i’m going to have very large shoes to fill. i may have the genes.. but, as we see in the comics, children of superheroes do not always inherit their powers, haha.
but though my dad’s superhero shoes are large, thankfully, they’re light. because they’re worn by someone whose heart is buoyed with love.. just as my Heavenly Father’s heart is filled with great love for me ü
and who knows, maybe someday, with His help, i’ll be the kind of “superparent” i’ve always seen my dad to be ü
Monday, June 4, 2007
beautifully scarred
Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words. (Rainer Maria Rilke)
amen to this quote! yes, i truly believe.. scarred and wounded healers do heal best..
amen to this quote! yes, i truly believe.. scarred and wounded healers do heal best..
Monday, May 28, 2007
speechless
“we don’t always understand what Your perfect will demands. but we’ve learned to trust You more.. in Your presence Lord..”
so goes the song. i’ve sung those lines countless times in different LSS classes. but tonight, as i write this article, the song takes on much more significance.
i just came home from the wake of bro. ogie reyes, where fr. mar celebrated the mass. i have to admit.. i went to the wake because i had questions. a lot of them. bro. ogie’s death made me ask a lot of things - about God, about faith, about despair, about forgiveness, about mercy.
as a music minister, i’ve gone to a lot of these gatherings. we are often asked to sing at wakes of relatives of community members. personally, i go to those wakes for 3 main reasons: to condole with the bereaved family; to give moral/emotional support to them, along with other community members; and to join them in celebrating the life of a person who has lived for the Lord.
but tonight was different. like i said, i went to bro. ogie’s wake because i had questions. and i wanted answers. i wanted to hear what fr. mar had to say about dying in such a manner. i wanted to know what depth of despair would drive a person to end his life. i wanted to know how someone i (and many other people) looked up to for strength, hope and guidance could hide such tremendous pain and sorrow. i wanted to find out if God would be there for me if ever i find myself in such a desperate situation.
tonight’s wake was unlike any i’ve previously served in. the atmosphere was so different. the feeling i got as i entered the room was one of bewilderment. it was as if most of the people there mirrored the questions i had inside me. there was a feeling of hurt.. of betrayal.. of pain.. of really deep sorrow.
i did not know bro. ogie personally. to me, he was a good speaker.. a person who gave funny yet enlightening talks about God and life. all i knew about him was that he served the Lord and spread the Good News. like i said, i did not really know bro. ogie. but his death shook me in a surprisingly big way. and i guess it had the same effect on the other people who were present at his wake, as well.
when fr. mar gave his homily, you could almost hear a pin drop. everyone was quiet. everyone was listening intently. because he voiced out the unspoken question i suppose each one of us asked: “why, bro. ogie.? why?!”
and fr. mar talked about faith. and despair. and mercy. and forgiveness. and confusion. and sorrow. and resurrection. and pain. and easter. deep things. many things.
but mostly, he talked about questions. deep questions. like “why, bro. ogie? why?!”
and fr. mar said, “after 23 years of being a priest, i have to say, i still do not know the answer.”
and i felt like crying. because i had so many questions and i had no answers. and in front of me were the ashes of a man of God.. whom we drew strength and hope from. and i was looking at a priest i so admired.. openly admitting that he had no answers to give..
..except this: fr. mar said that of one thing he is sure. that the God bro. ogie preached about is the still the God in control of the storms in our lives. sailing with the Lord may not guarantee calm seas and smooth waters; but it does guarantee that our boat will not sink.
i still have a lot of questions. i still do not understand a lot of things. but listening to fr. mar’s homily tonight gave me consolation.. and hope, too. because i found out it’s ok to feel hurt and pain and sorrow. it’s ok to not always have the answers. it’s ok to say “i don’t know.” it’s ok to sometimes be shocked speechless.
we just have to keep sailing.. no matter how rough the waters may be. because even though people may fail us.. or hurt us, the Rock of our salvation never will. and in this crazy world, we need the strength and stability only He could give..
so goes the song. i’ve sung those lines countless times in different LSS classes. but tonight, as i write this article, the song takes on much more significance.
i just came home from the wake of bro. ogie reyes, where fr. mar celebrated the mass. i have to admit.. i went to the wake because i had questions. a lot of them. bro. ogie’s death made me ask a lot of things - about God, about faith, about despair, about forgiveness, about mercy.
as a music minister, i’ve gone to a lot of these gatherings. we are often asked to sing at wakes of relatives of community members. personally, i go to those wakes for 3 main reasons: to condole with the bereaved family; to give moral/emotional support to them, along with other community members; and to join them in celebrating the life of a person who has lived for the Lord.
but tonight was different. like i said, i went to bro. ogie’s wake because i had questions. and i wanted answers. i wanted to hear what fr. mar had to say about dying in such a manner. i wanted to know what depth of despair would drive a person to end his life. i wanted to know how someone i (and many other people) looked up to for strength, hope and guidance could hide such tremendous pain and sorrow. i wanted to find out if God would be there for me if ever i find myself in such a desperate situation.
tonight’s wake was unlike any i’ve previously served in. the atmosphere was so different. the feeling i got as i entered the room was one of bewilderment. it was as if most of the people there mirrored the questions i had inside me. there was a feeling of hurt.. of betrayal.. of pain.. of really deep sorrow.
i did not know bro. ogie personally. to me, he was a good speaker.. a person who gave funny yet enlightening talks about God and life. all i knew about him was that he served the Lord and spread the Good News. like i said, i did not really know bro. ogie. but his death shook me in a surprisingly big way. and i guess it had the same effect on the other people who were present at his wake, as well.
when fr. mar gave his homily, you could almost hear a pin drop. everyone was quiet. everyone was listening intently. because he voiced out the unspoken question i suppose each one of us asked: “why, bro. ogie.? why?!”
and fr. mar talked about faith. and despair. and mercy. and forgiveness. and confusion. and sorrow. and resurrection. and pain. and easter. deep things. many things.
but mostly, he talked about questions. deep questions. like “why, bro. ogie? why?!”
and fr. mar said, “after 23 years of being a priest, i have to say, i still do not know the answer.”
and i felt like crying. because i had so many questions and i had no answers. and in front of me were the ashes of a man of God.. whom we drew strength and hope from. and i was looking at a priest i so admired.. openly admitting that he had no answers to give..
..except this: fr. mar said that of one thing he is sure. that the God bro. ogie preached about is the still the God in control of the storms in our lives. sailing with the Lord may not guarantee calm seas and smooth waters; but it does guarantee that our boat will not sink.
i still have a lot of questions. i still do not understand a lot of things. but listening to fr. mar’s homily tonight gave me consolation.. and hope, too. because i found out it’s ok to feel hurt and pain and sorrow. it’s ok to not always have the answers. it’s ok to say “i don’t know.” it’s ok to sometimes be shocked speechless.
we just have to keep sailing.. no matter how rough the waters may be. because even though people may fail us.. or hurt us, the Rock of our salvation never will. and in this crazy world, we need the strength and stability only He could give..
cicada song
yesterday morning, in tagaytay, i woke up to a not-so-familiar sound. it was a sound that's not often heard in the city. at first, i thought it was the noise of a motor-powered grass cutter; but it sounded different. it was more high-pitched.. and it came from all around the grounds. it was the music of cicadas in the early morning :)
i'm not a big insect-lover (i am extremely terrified of a lot of bugs - cockroaches being #1 in my list). but i was quite intrigued with the cicadas.. and how they could make sounds that can really make you stop and pay attention. so i did a bit of research when i got home.. and this is what i found (courtesy of wikipedia):
just think.. if God gifted the lowly cicadas with the ability to create songs.. imagine what He has blessed us with! :) He's given us voices.. not just to communicate with our fellowmen.. but to be able to thank, praise and worship Him! He gave some the talent to compose music.. to others, the talent to sing songs. some, He enabled to proclaim His Word. Still, to others, He gave His gift of teaching.
brothers and sisters, no matter what talent He has blessed you with, know this: God gave you the power to make others stop and pay attention :) so that you can minister to His people. so that you can make a difference.
like the cicadas, let's sing out loud our praise to the Creator. and soon, the world just might pause and listen to His Word :)
i'm not a big insect-lover (i am extremely terrified of a lot of bugs - cockroaches being #1 in my list). but i was quite intrigued with the cicadas.. and how they could make sounds that can really make you stop and pay attention. so i did a bit of research when i got home.. and this is what i found (courtesy of wikipedia):
Cicadas are the most efficient and loudest sound-producing insects in the world. Conversely, some small species have songs so high in pitch that the noise is inaudible to humans. Only the males resound as a mating ritual to attract a female and many cicada species tend to gather when calling which increases the total volume of noise. Species have different mating songs to ensure they attract the appropriate mate.
Cicadae are unique in sound-producing insects in that they have a musical drum in their abdomen. The organs that produce sound are ‘tymbals' ~ paired membranes that are ribbed and located at the abdominal base. Contracting the internal tymbal muscles yield a pulse of sound as the tymbals buckle inwards. As these muscles relax, the tymbals return to their original position. The interior of the male abdomen is substantially hollow to amplify the resonance of the sound. The song intensity of the louder cicadas acts as an effective bird repellent. Males of many species tend to gather which net a greater sound intensity and engenders protection from avian predators.
In addition to the mating song, many species also have a distinct distress call, usually a somewhat broken and erratic sound emitted when an individual is seized. A number of species also have a courtship song, which is often a quieter call and is produced after a female has been drawn by the calling song.
wow. talk about a music-making bug-wonder of nature! :) the sounds they make enable them to send for help.. fend off enemies and even find themselves a mate!!just think.. if God gifted the lowly cicadas with the ability to create songs.. imagine what He has blessed us with! :) He's given us voices.. not just to communicate with our fellowmen.. but to be able to thank, praise and worship Him! He gave some the talent to compose music.. to others, the talent to sing songs. some, He enabled to proclaim His Word. Still, to others, He gave His gift of teaching.
brothers and sisters, no matter what talent He has blessed you with, know this: God gave you the power to make others stop and pay attention :) so that you can minister to His people. so that you can make a difference.
like the cicadas, let's sing out loud our praise to the Creator. and soon, the world just might pause and listen to His Word :)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
the day God kept me company
I Simply Live For You
Words and music by Russell FragarSay the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will followIf each star was a song, and every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say all my heart containsI simply live, I simply live for You
As the glory of Your presence now fills this place
In worship we will see You face to face,
There is nothing in this world to which You can be comparedGlory on glory, praise upon praise
You bind the broken hearted and save all my tears
And by Your Word, You set the captives free,There is nothing in this world that You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You* * *
i listen to this song as i am writing this article. i am here in tagaytay.. spending the weekend with family and friends. i am enjoying the breathtaking view, the wonderfully cool weather and the beautiful fruit-bearing trees and gorgeous flowers. for the past few hours, i've been trying to write something.. anything.. for this week's newsletter. in fact, i've started about 5 or 6 articles (on various topics, with weird titles like "the view from the back(seat)," "i know what i did this summer," "heaven's scent," "go forth and multiply," "escap(ad)e" and "time's up").. but i shelved them all (or threw them into the trash altogether) 'cause after a paragraph or so, i couldn't find the words to continue any of them. at least, not *yet* :p
so instead of racking my brain to force myself to write, i just took a walk in the grounds. i shot some pictures.. breathed in the fresh air.. admired the view and chatted with friends. i brought along my trusty mp3 player, for a bit of "background music" too, haha. and i heard this song play :)
have you ever experienced being ministered to by God? see, there are times when i can't think of a prayer during my quiet time.. even though i know i want to spend time with God. and there are moments (like today) when i want to do something for Him.. but my mind is so distracted and unfocused that i couldn't think clearly. then.. just when i'm at the point of getting *too* irritated by my own distractedness, He nudges me and reminds me to "be still and know that I am God." (ps 46:10)
and you know what? when i do allow myself to be still, that's when i *hear* what i am supposed to pray :) at first, i found it weird. i thought prayer (and worship, for that matter) was about me telling the Lord the things i want to tell Him. but by being quiet, i learned that it's much, much more than that.
prayer/worship is about listening to Him! God isn't just Someone Who listens to me. He's also my Teacher :) He teaches me how to worship by opening my eyes to the wonders of His creation. He lets me hear the inspiring songs made by His children especially for Him.. then opens my heart so that my own voice joins theirs in worship. and He lets me discover the warmth of fellowship, as well as the beauty of solitude :)
lately, i discovered something about God. you know what? He is sooooo talkative! :p it's true! He's not loud, though. He speaks to me in sweet and soft whispers.. pointing out "tiny miracles" as they unfold before me :) i'd look at the trees and He'd ask me "what do you think of the flowers I made? do you like them?". i'd eat a pineapple and He'd tell me "see how sweet it tastes? I made it especially for you..". i'd gaze up at the stars at night and He'd whisper "I know how much you love stars.. so I made them twinkle just a bit brighter tonight..". when i was aching for a bit of rain, He'd tell me "ok, I'm going to let the clouds give you a soft shower later on so you can enjoy the raindrops fall". all through the day, God kept me company. and He kept talking! He went on and on about how happy He was.. and how good it is to finally be able to talk to me, haha. and i'd just give a nod here.. or say "yes, God, You're right.. that *was* a sweet pineapple.." or something like that. i wasn't really able to get in as many words as i wanted to.
but you know what? i think that's exactly how he wanted it to be :)
i listen to this song as i am writing this article. i am here in tagaytay.. spending the weekend with family and friends. i am enjoying the breathtaking view, the wonderfully cool weather and the beautiful fruit-bearing trees and gorgeous flowers. for the past few hours, i've been trying to write something.. anything.. for this week's newsletter. in fact, i've started about 5 or 6 articles (on various topics, with weird titles like "the view from the back(seat)," "i know what i did this summer," "heaven's scent," "go forth and multiply," "escap(ad)e" and "time's up").. but i shelved them all (or threw them into the trash altogether) 'cause after a paragraph or so, i couldn't find the words to continue any of them. at least, not *yet* :p
so instead of racking my brain to force myself to write, i just took a walk in the grounds. i shot some pictures.. breathed in the fresh air.. admired the view and chatted with friends. i brought along my trusty mp3 player, for a bit of "background music" too, haha. and i heard this song play :)
have you ever experienced being ministered to by God? see, there are times when i can't think of a prayer during my quiet time.. even though i know i want to spend time with God. and there are moments (like today) when i want to do something for Him.. but my mind is so distracted and unfocused that i couldn't think clearly. then.. just when i'm at the point of getting *too* irritated by my own distractedness, He nudges me and reminds me to "be still and know that I am God." (ps 46:10)
and you know what? when i do allow myself to be still, that's when i *hear* what i am supposed to pray :) at first, i found it weird. i thought prayer (and worship, for that matter) was about me telling the Lord the things i want to tell Him. but by being quiet, i learned that it's much, much more than that.
prayer/worship is about listening to Him! God isn't just Someone Who listens to me. He's also my Teacher :) He teaches me how to worship by opening my eyes to the wonders of His creation. He lets me hear the inspiring songs made by His children especially for Him.. then opens my heart so that my own voice joins theirs in worship. and He lets me discover the warmth of fellowship, as well as the beauty of solitude :)
lately, i discovered something about God. you know what? He is sooooo talkative! :p it's true! He's not loud, though. He speaks to me in sweet and soft whispers.. pointing out "tiny miracles" as they unfold before me :) i'd look at the trees and He'd ask me "what do you think of the flowers I made? do you like them?". i'd eat a pineapple and He'd tell me "see how sweet it tastes? I made it especially for you..". i'd gaze up at the stars at night and He'd whisper "I know how much you love stars.. so I made them twinkle just a bit brighter tonight..". when i was aching for a bit of rain, He'd tell me "ok, I'm going to let the clouds give you a soft shower later on so you can enjoy the raindrops fall". all through the day, God kept me company. and He kept talking! He went on and on about how happy He was.. and how good it is to finally be able to talk to me, haha. and i'd just give a nod here.. or say "yes, God, You're right.. that *was* a sweet pineapple.." or something like that. i wasn't really able to get in as many words as i wanted to.
but you know what? i think that's exactly how he wanted it to be :)
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