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“WHEN SORROW OVERWHELMS YOU, don’t let yourself be drowned. Swim for a while in tears, but remember to return to shore, ‘coz God will be there to wipe you dry. God loves you!”

i couldn’t help but smile when i received this text message from my friend this morning. as soon as i read it, i knew the quote was for me.

last week, my heart felt really heavy. i had some problems with my work and with my health. i also had a mini-falling out with my best friend. though these were not actually serious concerns, they troubled me immensely. i wasn’t able to eat nor sleep well. i could not even breathe properly.

i was trying so hard to maintain a pleasant disposition. in the process, however, i just ended up bottling all my frustration, doubts and fears within me. it even got to the point where i was no longer able to cry. on the outside, i appeared normal - sometimes even smiling or laughing. but deep inside, all the stress was taking its toll on me.

i was not sure what to do with myself. nothing i did could genuinely cheer me up. i tried to keep myself busy with work; but that exhausted me. i tried to give my all during services; but i found it difficult to focus my thoughts. i walked around the mall.. met up with old pals.. watched funny shows.. but the relief was temporary. to make matters worse, my trusted confidante (whom i usually turn to whenever i felt down) wasn’t replying to my messages. i was so frustrated that i had second thoughts serving at the GSS.

in spite of my mood, though, i still went to RFM last saturday. i sat there, listening to bro. obet talk about worship.. and how it is our response to God’s “worth-ship.” as he continued to share his insights.. and as he eventually led us into worship, i felt the weight in my heart lighten. suddenly, i realized that the words of the song were true:

“close to You is where i want to be / close to You is where i want to be / in Your presence, oh Lord / there is fullness of joy / in Your presence / i am restored”

i was restless and troubled because i was too intent on looking at my “mountains” of problems. i spent so much time “swimming in my (hidden) tears”.. that i forgot one obvious fact: i don’t need to stare at my mountains nor swim in my tears! what i needed was to be in His presence. what i needed was to go back to shore.. close to my Lord.. Who has always wiped away my tears and eased my burdens.

i looked to Him to restore me. and He did ü He showed me that my “mountains” were but molehills. He turned my tears into life-giving water ü He gave me rest. He gave me peace.

He must really love me ü and that’s why i’ll love Him back.. this time, with more smiles üüü