Magnificently Obsessed

Just the other day, I was listening to this Christian radio station. They were discussing what makes a person truly successful. According to the teacher, there are three P’s a person needs in order to excel: Patience, Perseverance and Passion. She proceeded to say that disciplined athletes develop the first two traits. However, only a few of them truly possess the last. And it is Passion that separates the great from those who are merely good.

After listening to the short teaching, I wondered to myself, “What am I really passionate about?” I know I enjoy doing a lot of stuff; and some of these, I am quite good at. But what is that *one* thing that makes my face light up when I talk about it? What is it that I am *really* into.. that occupies my thoughts 24/7? What is that one thing I am willing to risk everything for? What is my one obsession?

Matthew 6:20 - 21 says, “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Where my treasure is, there my heart will also be. The Lord has given me a lot of gifts in the form of talents, friends and loved ones. And these are treasures, indeed. But none of these can surpass the greatness of the Giver Himself.

Sometimes I forget this simple truth. It’s so easy to be blinded by the gifts. It’s so easy to be distracted; to lose sight of my Magnificent Obsession.

I want *so much* to be the best that I can be as His child - to be as excellent.. as perfect as He wants me to be. And I know that before I can be that, I must have a burning passion for Him. So I pray this song:

This is everything I want
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession

Yes, Lord.. be my Magnificent Obsession.

silence is (not) easy

some of us laugh, some of us cry,
some of us smoke, some of us lie,
but it's all just the way that we cope with our lives.
- starsailor, “some of us”

this morning, my student teacher taught my senior class for the first time. he nervously introduced himself to the students.. then proceeded to discuss how to graph the basic trigonometric functions. after half an hour of giving illustrations and feverishly writing down notes on the board, my student teacher asked the class, “do you have any questions?” and my students’ response? silence. no shaking of heads. no nods. no questions. no frowns. no smiles. nothing but blank stares. *sigh* and i couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for my student teacher. hmm. silence from the entire class. the usually rowdy senior class, at that. tsk, tsk. that can’t be good..

that silent, blank stare from students is probably one of the worst things that could happen to me in class. noisy students, i can somewhat tolerate. even the makulit and matanong students, i can stand. but to be met with expressionless stares and “NR” (no reaction) looks.. well, that really makes me lose my composure.

i have to admit.. i hate silence, not just in the classroom, but in my daily life as well. i always have to be doing something. whether it is keeping in touch with friends, watching TV or texting. i even go to bed with my zen (my mp3 player).. ‘coz i find it hard to sleep without my music.

most of us, when faced with silence, are unnerved. silence is not easy. it can even be downright frightening. maybe because we’re not used to it. we’ve grown so accustomed to the “background noises” of life. we are so busy with our work and numerous activities. our minds are so distracted with schedules, chores, financial concerns and other worries. we surround ourselves with friends, loved ones and people we depend on for stability and security.

in the busyness of life, we find it difficult to just sit still and enjoy solitude. even in our quiet devotions, we often feel uncomfortable waiting on the Lord. we want the answer to our prayers now. and when we do not hear Him answering our petitions, we worry.. we fret.. we become impatient. we are unnerved.

brothers and sisters, if right now you cannot seem to hear the Lord’s voice.. if you are feeling impatient with His silence.. if you are starting to doubt whether He hears you or cares about your plight.. let this verse encourage you:

“be still and know that I am God..” (psalm 46:10)

He is Lord. is that not a comforting thought? :) and all we need to do is to be still before this wonderful God.. and bask in His loving presence.

it may take a bit of getting used to.. but by His grace, we will all learn to enjoy His quiet, gentle presence :)

God bless!

analyzing pain

this has been a most exciting weekend for me. and for most pinoys as well. manny “pacman” pacquiao was once again pitted against eric morales; and everybody was excited to watch the fight.

we rooted for pacquiao.. cheered him on.. even prayed for him. and now that he won, we feel so proud. we’re all glad that once again, he gives this country something to boast about.

but what if things turned out differently? if manny had lost.. if he had not beaten morales in this bout.. how would we have felt? would we still have been proud of him? would we still have been able to hold our heads high and say, “magaling ang pinoy!”?

oftentimes, we put too much importance on victory and triumph.. on success and winning. we focus all our energies into making sure everything turns out perfectly. there’s nothing wrong with aiming for excellence. but we should always remember that the greatest triumphs are made sweeter by the most bitter defeats. and that behind every glorious moment of victory are a hundred moments of pain and sacrifice.

before pacquiao became the star that he now is, he had to go through intense and rigid training. perhaps manny already was one of the better boxers when he started out. but if he did not endure long hours of sparring sessions.. if he just gave up because his muscles ached.. or because he cut his lip.. or because he shed some blood.. he never would have risen to “hero” status.

pain. we are all acquainted with it. but not all of us understand that the experience of pain is one of the greatest blessings. pain teaches us to be humbly dependent on the Lord. pain warns us when we are straying from His path. pain helps us to empathize with others who are hurting. pain makes us aware of our mortality and frailties. pain helps us identify our areas of weakness - spiritual or otherwise. and pain makes us more grateful.. more joyful when success comes around.

the great martyrs and saints died for their faith. they served as witnesses for the Lord, despite the most cruel tortures and most inhumane conditions. they were especially called to suffer. and they were able to endure to the end because God allowed them to suffer many trials and persecutions throughout their lives. until they learned to value their pains. until they learned to embrace their cross.

so if you are going through some tough times right now.. if you are in pain and you can’t seem to understand why.. if you feel like a loser and there doesn’t seem to be a way out.. that’s okay. cry. scream. rant. shout it out. vent. cry some more. but do it all in His presence.

because the Suffering Servant understands. He knows how to endure.. and He gives the same grace to all who ask in His name. He heals the broken-hearted. He binds up our wounds.

and more importantly, He teaches us how to embrace our own crosses. and He walks along with us.. on our journey to Calvary.

naked

“when the music fades, all is stripped away and i simply come.. longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless Your heart” (heart of worship)

last wednesday, the leaders of the community participated in a eucharistic celebration with special rites for installation. we were asked to write on a piece of paper our answer to one simple question: “what are you willing to give up in service to the Lord?”

it was a deceptively simple question. the more i thought about it, the more i realized that answering it required two things of me: (1) i had to know what God wanted me to surrender; and (2) i had to be willing to give it up.

fr. bobby, in his homily, mentioned that as leaders, we would be the first to die. ok, probably not literally.. but i get his point. the call to leadership is not a “promotion” as the worldwould see it. true, it is a privilege.. but it comes with a price, too. it means dying to ourselves every day. it means being subject to authority. it means serving with humility. it means giving not just dutifully but cheerfully. it means going beyond what is asked of us. it means being more understanding.. more compassionate.. more forgiving.. more caring.. more loving.

i remember thinking once, “Lord, how could You expect this of me? i don’t think i can do this..” and it’s true. i can’t do it. i can’t be this super-cheerful, sunshiny girl overnight. i can’t learn everything i’m supposed to do in one sitting. i can’t, all of a sudden, be not tired nor grumpy when work piles up. i am weak. i am imperfect. i am unworthy.

and i am called. and i said yes.

and because i did, it doesn’t matter that i can’t do it. God will help me out. and together, we can do it :)

it is said that when God wants to bless you, He first separates you from that which you most hold dear. He continues to tear away.. to cut.. to chip off your attachments.. until everything is stripped away. and you are left with nothing. until you are utterly naked before Him.

and then He will restore. and give back all that He has “taken away” from you. until He has filled you up. until you are utterly blessed.

i admit. it is a scary thought. and more than half the time i feel like i’m not ready for it. but it is my heart’s desire. and i know He will be there to walk with me.. every step of the way :)

Ano Ba ang Meron sa Music Ministry?

18 years old ako nung sumali ako sa music ministry. Bagong member lang ako ng Rivers noon.. wala pang isang taon sa community (iba pa ang mga rules dati eh.. halata bang sobrang tagal na nun?! haha!) Pero dahil mahilig akong kumanta, naisip kong sumali sa choir.

Mula sa audition.. hanggang sa pag-attend ng mga practice.. at sa pagkanta-kanta sa misa at prayer meeting.. lagi akong may kaba noon. Pakiramdam ko lahat ng mga kasama ko ang galing-galing magtanda ng tono.. at confident nang kumanta sa mic.. tapos ayun ako, hindi man lang mailakas ang boses.

Pero unti-unti, naging at home naman ako sa music ministry. Naenjoy ko ang practices at nagkaroon ng mga close friends sa ministry. Natutunan kong bigyan ng halaga ang disiplina - mula sa pagdadala ng required na recorder/tape, lyrics/clearbook hanggang sa pagdating nang maaga sa practice.

May mga bagay rin akong nadiskubre tungkol sa sarili ko habang nagse-serve ako sa loob ng music ministry. Nalaman ko na mabilis pala akong mag-memorize ng mga kanta. Nae-enjoy ko pala mag-type at mag-file ng mga lyrics. At kaya ko rin palang i-appreciate ‘yung kakaibang tono na pinapakanta sa aming mga alto, hehe :p

Sa mga taong inilagi ko sa music ministry, natural lang na hindi panay saya na lang ang pinagdaanan ko. May mga nakatampuhan ako.. nakasigawan.. naiyakan.. kinainisan. Pero matapos ang 12 years, nandito pa rin ako. Hindi nagsasawa at hindi napapagod.

Bakit? Siguro kasi masasabi ko na dito sa ministry na ito ako nag-grow nang husto. ‘Yung mga teachings tungkol sa mga pinagdadaanan sa community.. pakikisama sa mga tao.. commitment.. dedication.. service sa Diyos.. lahat ‘yan na-experience ko sa ministry service. Hindi nga puro sarap at saya. Pero ‘yung mga experience na akala ko sobrang hirap at sobrang masakit.. ngayong natapos na, na-realize ko na ginamit din ni Lord para ma-improve ako :)

So. Ano nga ba ang meron sa music ministry? Saya. Hirap. Pagdidisiplina. Pagsasamahan. Tawanan. Iyakan. Pagsisilbi.

Maraming mga kuwento. Abangan na lamang ang mga susunod pa.. :)

masks

not because of who i am, but because of what You've done. not because of what i've done, but because of who You are.

--who am i (casting crowns)

what’s up with halloween? i mean, what’s the point of dressing up in scary costumes.. trying your best to look frightening or just downright gory? it seems silly to me; especially since no one really gets scared by the monster masks or the jack-o’-lantern. well, at least, no one i know, hehe.

i know what would be *really* scary for me, though. it has nothing to do with ugly monster masks. nope. what’s scarier would be if everyone were to see everyone else totally without their masks.

picture this. you’re walking along the mall and you see an ad featuring this scantily-clothed sexy celebrity.. and you find yourself imagining some not-so-wholesome scenarios in your mind. then suddenly, your thoughts are revealed to everyone standing within 50 feet of you.. including all the lurid details.

or what if, during one prayer meeting, as you smile at your brothers and sisters in the community, you see your “ex-bestfriend” standing in a corner. you trusted her with your deepest, darkest secrets; but you got into a fight. now you’re not even on speaking terms. she sees you.. and suddenly, all her thoughts are broadcast to the entire rivers community. including that one secret that you don’t want anyone else to know.

why are these scenarios scary? because in truth, all of us wear our masks. we try to hide the filth that’s inside us. we put our best foot forward, making sure we look nice on the outside. we try to be polite.. respectable.. pious, even. we want everyone to see that we are good.

but what happens when our masks are torn off? if our dearest, closest friends could see us for *who we really are*.. would they still love us? would they even still like us?

it may be frightening to reveal everything about ourselves to our friends. even to our loved ones. but we need never fear taking off our masks before the One Who already sees us for who we are. He knows our darkest deeds and most secret thoughts.

brothers and sisters, as we strive to know the Lord, let us not be afraid to let Him know our *true* selves too. we do not need masks before Him. He knows *everything* about us. and He loves us just the same :)

that should be the end of all our nightmares :)