ashes of a heart

“huwag limutin nakaraang araw / sariwain kahit balik-tanaw / takip-silim 'di man mapigilan / sandali lang ang dilim...” (huwag limutin, arnel aquino sj)

this february has been quite extraordinary. and i’m not referring to anything related to romance. but i’ve observed that quite a number of my friends and acquaintances suffered the loss of a loved one on this month of hearts.

it first struck me as ironic that on this “red month” - where both valentine’s day and this year’s chinese new year are festively celebrated - circumstances cause so many hearts to feel blue (or, more aptly.. “to feel grey or black”). the pain of loss is felt all the more deeply when you know that you *would have been* celebrating “if only he were still around..” and all the happy faces surrounding you don’t really help to lessen your grief.

sorrow. pain. mortality. death. these aren’t exactly what we would like to be reminded of; especially during the season of love. but at times, we are forced to face these things whether we like to or not. and we have no choice but to deal with them.

today is ash wednesday - a day when we are told, “thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return.” it is a solemn reminder of our mortality. it is an admonition to us to prepare our hearts.. to make sure that we are ready to face the Lord when the appointed time comes. it is a day of fasting and repentance. it is a day colored *grey.*

but for me, ash wednesday brings not just warnings, but also *hope.* for while we are reminded of our mortality, we are also given the promise of His comfort. and while we are admonished to repent and to turn away from sin, we are also reminded that the Lord is full of mercy and of grace. psalm 30:5, “for his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

brothers and sisters, your heart may have gone through some tough times recently. and perhaps you feel like nothing’s left of it but ashes. but our God is faithful. He will *never* allow you to go through any trial beyond what you can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13).

minamahal kitang tunay / ang tinig ko sa ‘yo’y bubuhay / sambitin mo ang aking himig / at ako sa iyo’y aawit

He loves us. not only during “red days”.. but more importantly, during “ash-colored days.” God’s love is the music that brings joy to our lives. and with His melody playing, we can *always* find it in our hearts to rejoice ü