the sunless lands

i didn’t really know him well. i couldn’t even remember what he looked like.. whether he was short or tall, dark or fair. i didn’t know his voice; and his name didn’t ring a bell. all i knew was that he was one of the quiet ones. the ones you easily forgot..

he used to be my student. and he died last thursday - the first day of the love month. took his own life. i learned about it the following morning from his batchmate:

“ma’am alam niyo ba na namatay na si ----?”

“uhmm.. may nabalitaan akong gano’n kanina.. sino nga ulit ‘yon?”

“ka-batch po namin.. kaklase ko nung 4th year.. maputi na matangkad.. nakasalamin..”

“hindi ko ‘yata siya naging student.. pero medyo familiar ‘yung pangalan niya..”

so i got my copy of their yearbook, looked for his name.. and that’s the only time i remembered him. he was in my computer class for a semester. and though his classmates would often chat with me or update me on their acad/family/love lives, he would just sit in his corner of the room and keep silent. we never talked.

he was an average student. he did not excel; but he never gave me headaches in class either. he wasn’t one to cut class. he passed his projects on time. he had no vices. he was normal. ordinary. and invisible.

and his death bothered me.

like i said, i didn’t really know him well. but his suicide deeply troubled me. and i could not help but wonder to myself “what depth of despair and misery could cause someone so young.. whose life was full of promise.. to just end it all?”

i started thinking of all the other nameless, faceless people i encounter everyday. how many of them are hurting? how many of them are lonely and desperate? how many hide behind carefully constructed masks? how many of them are just waiting for an encouraging word.. a friend to talk to.. a hand to hold? and how many of them have become invisible to me.. and to all of us who are too preoccupied with our own concerns in life?

“we are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed... therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2cor 4:8, 16)

“there, but for the grace of God, go i..” i am blessed to have the Lord in my life - to know and be known by Him. it scares me to think what my life would be like otherwise. but there are many more who do not know Him.. who desperately need God in their lives.

am i ready and willing to share Him with them? are you?