Happy in the Meantime

Everybody is looking for it. Everybody wants to have it. So few ever *really* and *truly* get it. And sometimes, even when they do, it doesn’t last long enough to be appreciated. Hmm. You have to admit.. sometimes happiness is overrated.

Christians, especially we who are in the Charismatic renewal, are almost always *expected* to be happy. We are, after all, an “Easter” people. But does this mean we should always have that smile plastered on our faces? Does this mean our eyes should never cry? Do our faces always have to radiate with joy?

Last Wednesday, I was feeling a bit down in the dumps. Deadlines at work, chaotic schedules and some friend problems were troubling my thoughts. I was tired, sleep-deprived, distracted and confused. Hence, it took a while before I could actually focus on Sis. Yna’s worship.

But in spite of the many distracting thoughts in my head, I tried my best to concentrate on the worship. And by the help of the Holy Spirit, I succeeded. It was a struggle at first, but eventually, I was able to really listen to the prayers and sing the songs from the heart.

I found out that when you *consciously* and *actively* participate in the community worship, you just can’t help but have a sense of wonder.. a sense of awe. What is wonderful? What is awesome? A God Who is as real when you are feeling sad.. as He is when you are feeling happy.

And that time, during worship, the Lord reminded me of a quote that I saved a couple of days earlier. This came from my favorite show, Grey’s Anatomy:

Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing... is reason enough to celebrate.

Happiness may be overrated. But gratefulness is not. To be an Easter person does not mean I have to glow with joy all the time. It does mean, however, that I be *grateful* for every blessing - big or small - that He bestows upon me. Because I do not need to be happy to be grateful. But I *need* to be grateful before I can be joyful ü

I am happy. In the meantime. And I know there will be times when I won’t be this way. When I will feel lost and shed copious tears. But that’s okay. Because I know when those times come, I’d still have Someone to be grateful for. And in the end, that’s all that matters.