halaga

“minsan hindi ko maintindihan. parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan. medyo malabo yata ang mundo. binabasura ng iba ang siyang pinapangarap ko” -parokya ni edgar

naglinis ako ng kwarto nung isang araw lang. nagtanggal ng mga lumang damit, sapatos at bag na ilang taon nang ‘di napapakinabangan. pati na rin mga unan, laruan, papel, bolpen at kung anu-ano pang mga gamit na nakakalat lang doon. inilagay ko ang mga ito sa mga malalaking supot para itapon.

nagpatulong ako kay ate dina (na naglilinis ng bahay namin tuwing sabado - wala pa rin kaming kasambahay hanggang ngayon) para ibaba ang mga supot. sabi niya sa akin, “ay ma’am.. magagamit pa ito.. magaganda pa ‘yung iba.. sayang naman.. pwede ko bang iuwi na lang..?” siyempre, pumayag ako.

totoo nga.. marami tayong mga biyayang hindi lubos na binibigyang-halaga. marahil ay nasanay na tayo na naririyan lang ang mga ito. iniisip nating pangkaraniwan na lamang ang mga ito.. maaari nang ipagpalit. lalo na kung nakatuon lamang tayo sa mga mas bago at mas magagarang bagay na maaari nating makuha.

pero para sa isang taong mas nangangailangan.. para sa isang taong iniisip nating mas salat sa biyaya, kasagutan na sa kanyang mga dasal ang mga bagay na binabasura lamang natin.

ano ba ang mahalaga para sa iyo, kapatid? o di kaya.. Sino ba ang binibigyan mo ng halaga? nagpasalamat ka na ba sa Kanya para sa napakaraming biyayang ipinagkaloob Niya?

kung matagal ka nang miyembro ng community na ito, kailan ka huling nagpasalamat sa Kanya at dinala ka Niya sa Rivers? kung may pinagdaanan kang ‘di kanais-nais na karanasan noong nakaraang linggo, nagpasalamat ka na ba sa Kanya dahil iniligtas ka Niya dito? kung kasalukuyan kang nakakaramdam ka ng lungkot o pighati, kaya mo bang pasalamatan Siya sa Kanyang pagdamay sa iyo?

marami tayong dapat ipagpasalamat. maraming mga biyayang dapat na bigyang-halaga. huwag sana nating ibasura na lamang ang pinapangarap ng iba..

spare change

“change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. we either adapt to change or we get left behind. and it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.” - grey’s anatomy

at the start of the school year, when we were informed that the elementary kids would be temporarily “housed” with us in high school, i didn’t like the idea. i figured the halls would be too noisy; there would be too many kids running around, etc. there would be too many changes.. too many “new things” to adjust to. i didn’t like it.. but none of us were given any choice anyway.

a couple of months passed.. and somehow, i found myself actually enjoying having elem kids around. they’re a bit noisy.. but they’re so cute.. and they always have nice smiles on their faces. they greet us “good morning ma’am!” so cheerfully - something that very few teenagers do, haha! and now that the first semester’s over, the little kids will go back to their newly-renovated building inside the campus. and me..? well, i’m honestly going to miss them :(
i’m someone who hates change. if i could have my way, i’d probably have the same hair style for my entire life (which is *almost* true, actually). i wouldn’t dream of moving out of the country.. or out of quezon city.. or even out of our house! the thought of trying out or learning new things, exciting as it is, scares the hell out of me.

but i, like everybody else, am not spared from change. and as the quote says, none of us can stop change from happening. we adapt or else we get stuck in the rut. and while it may be tempting to just sit still and wait for the world to stop revolving, we know that wouldn’t happen. the world won’t give us a hand if ever we lose the energy (or the courage) to adapt to all the changes going on around us.

but HE will.

“on my bed i remember you; i think of you through the watches of the night. because you are my help, i sing in the shadow of your wings.” ps 63:6-7

it is a great source of comfort to know that in the midst of an ever-changing world, there’s someone we can hold on to - someone who will *never* change.

thank you lord, for being that one constant we can always rely on.. :)

why “father” is a four-letter word

wait. before anybody reacts to my title.. i just want to make it clear that not all four-letter words are bad :p after all, L-O-V-E is a four-letter word. and if you ask me, father = love ü

how does my father love me? hmm. let me count the ways.. ü

1. he is *always* there for me to talk to. no matter how late (or early) the hour, my dad makes sure to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

2. he’s ever-reliable. i know that whenever he makes a promise, my dad would *always* deliver. he does not renege on his word. if he tells me he will pick me up from school at 3pm, i am sure he will be there at that time - even earlier.

3. he tells me the truth. my dad has always been my greatest source of encouragement. he’s generous with his praises and often tells me how proud he is of me. but my dad also lets me know whenever i disappoint him. when i do something wrong, he reprimands me. but he always does it with love.. and i never really feel offended when he tells me off, because i know he always has my best interests in mind.
4. he is open. even when i was a lot younger, dad would talk to me about adult concerns like work, finances and even asked for my opinion on family matterse. he showed me that he trusted my judgment; and i never felt like i was “only a kid” around him. i may have been a kid then.. but i always knew that in my dad’s eyes, i was already “somebody” ü

5. he is strong. dad not only does a lot of stuff around the house; he’s also our source of strength when it comes to resolving “issues” in the extended family. he never passes judgment on anybody.. and he aslways acts as “peacemaker” during times of conflict. we all appreciate his wisdom, but more than that, we recognize the strength of his character. he’s been through *a lot* of tough times.. and my dad has always used his experiences to glorify the Lord even as he gives advice.

i’ve said this so many times before.. but i’ll say it again. my dad is one of the greatest blessings the Lord has given to me ü because he mirrors my Father in Heaven so well. through my dad, i get to know Him a bit more each day. i learn how my Father shows His love for me in the way my dad shows his ü

happy birthday, dad. i love you ü

color my world

i’m not a huge fan of lunches. usually when it’s time for lunch at school, i stay at my desk.. read a book.. check some seatworks.. or work in front of the PC (or laptop) while munching away at my “lunch” of chips/snacks from the cafeteria.

but that was a long time ago. nowadays, i find myself looking forward to lunch at school. why the change? hmm. it’s all because of the lunch notes.

see, a while back, my dad started packing lunch for me. yes, you read that right. my dad packs my lunch *every day* before we go to work. and to make sure i finish the food he prepares for me, he hides notes in my baon :p it works, though.. coz i’m forced to eat all my rice (and even the dessert!) just to get the notes my dad hides at the bottom of my baunan haha ü

the thing is.. my dad’s notes have made me appreciate lunch hour so much more than i used to ü no more “multitasking” for me while eating.. no more snacks-for-lunches.. no more rushing/skipping noontime meals. because i know the effort my dad puts into preparing my food.. as well as the love he pours out into those teeny-tiny notes he writes for me ü

in the same manner, the Lord gives us *a lot* of His love notes every single day! and He uses all sorts of ways to send them to us. He gives us His Word to remind us of His numerous promises of love and blessings. He sends encouraging messages to inspire us to keep on walking the Christian walk. He surrounds us with friends and family who rejoice with us in times of triumph and who cry with us in times of sorrow. God provides us with a loving community to journey with us as we walk closer to Him. He gives us 525,600 minutes each year.. for us to use as we see fit - to smell the roses, to smile at friends, to spend time in prayer, to glorify our Lord ü

i see trees of green, red roses too. i see them bloom for me and you. and i think to myself, “what a wonderful world”

i see skies of blue and clouds of white. the bright, blessed day, the dark, sacred night. and i think to myself, “what a wonderful world”

the colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky, are also on the faces of people going by. i see friends shaking hands, saying ‘how do you do?’ they’re really saying ‘i love you’

i hear babies cry, i watch them grow. they’ll learn much more than i’ll ever know. and i think to myself, “what a wonderful world”

every blade of grass.. every flower.. every person we meet is a “hello” and “i love you” from our God. and if we open our eyes.. our hearts.. to accept His daily messages to us, we will realize that it truly is a wonderful world ü

brothers and sisters, who colors your world? who makes it wonderful? who enables you to enjoy life and see it in a new light?

may we always find time to savor His love for us.. and to thank Him for all the blessings He continues to send our way ü

525,600

tomorrow i will be celebrating my 31st birthday. a year older.. and hopefully a year wiser ü and as with special occasions, this is another one of those times when i pause to reflect on what’s happened to me for the past year.

at first blush, “one year” doesn’t seem like such a long time. but after doing some mental math (ok, i admit, i had to use a calculator), i realized that 1 year = 365 days = 8,760 hours = 525,600 minutes. i know.. it’s practically the same amount of time. but looking at that really big number kinda put some things in perspective for me.

“..in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. in 525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year in life?”

so goes the song (“seasons of love” from the musical, ‘rent’). if it’s true that every moment counts, then those 525,600 minutes represent short yet extremely irreplaceable moments. they are minutes that may be used in so many different ways. to smile at a stranger or say hello to a friend; to kiss a loved one or to hold a sick person’s hand; to give a hug or to text an inspiring thought; to utter a prayer of thanksgiving or to give an encouraging word; to say what’s in the heart - like “i love you” or “i’m sorry.” the list goes on and on..

when i look back at the year that’s passed, i’d have to admit that out of those 525,600 minutes, quite a number were spent unwisely. there were those times when i frowned or glared at people.. moments when i hurried past my friends. i’ve been guilty of taking loved ones for granted.. and of being selfish in giving my time and energy to those who are closest to me. there were occasions when i failed to give a kind word to someone who needed it. i often refused to say what was in my heart. and lot of times, i neglected to thank Him for His blessings and his grace.

“525,600 minutes. 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes. how can you measure the life of a woman or man? in truths that she learned, or in times that he cried? in bridges he burned, or the way that she died?

..how about love? measure in love..”

525,600 minutes. that’s the same number of moments given to all of us each year, brothers and sisters. the only difference between a bad year and a good one is how much love we put into each of those minutes ü as sisters yna, loly and maris said in their sharing last week, every moment is a gift from the Lord. there are no such things as “bad” times when we are walking the Christian walk. every minute is an opportunity for us to experience God’s tremendous love ü we are alive - to witness to His goodness, mercy and love. that, in itself, should make us truly grateful ü

thank You, Lord, for the past 525,600 precious minutes You have given me. help me to use the next 525,600 ones to share more of Your love with others.. and to give more of Your glory back to You ü

coming back home

she’s a sophomore student. friendly. cute. with a nice, dimply smile. she’s the apple of her mother’s eye.

she’s also the one who stole her schoolmate’s videocam.

we (members of the school’s disciplinary board) called her and her mother to a conference last week. we laid out the testimonies of witnesses and the summary of the initial investigation. with tears in her eyes, she admitted to stealing her friend’s camera with the intention of pawning it. her mother was shocked. ashamed. disappointed. and hurt.

after the conference, she apologized to the friend she stole from. her “sorry”s came out in sobs. she could hardly breathe. but her mom sat beside her. apologizing with her. crying with her. bearing the shame with her.

in a few days, she will face the consequences of her actions. she may be suspended for a couple of days. she will have to replace the item she stole. and she may also have to cope with the stigma of being branded a “thief” by her peers. it will be difficult. but somehow, i believe that she’ll come out of this a better person. because she has a mother who’s willing to help her carry the burden.

brothers and sisters, this is our story too. at some point in our lives, we do something ridiculously stupid. we make mistakes. we stumble. we fall into sin. we turn away from our Father.

like the prodigal son, we leave our home to search for adventure. and because He respects our freedom, the Lord allows us to commit our own mistakes. He lets us discover for ourselves that which He always knew: He alone can satisfy our desires.

and when we find that there’s nowhere else to go.. we shamefacedly go back home.

yet even from a long way off, our Father sees us. and He not only awaits our return, He comes running to meet us. because no matter how deep the wounds we cause, the Lord offers His pardon. where we see despair, God sees hope. and where there is much hurt, our Father heals with His love.

* * *

Lord, it is a source of great comfort to know that no matter how far we stray from Your side, all we need to do is to turn around.. and we will always find You there.. welcoming us back with arms wide open. thank You for not condemning us. thank You for bearing our cross.. our shame. thank You for dying for our sins. thank You for continuing to look at us with eyes of hope and love. and thank You for always welcoming us back home. amen.

is it panic time?

hahaha. this comic strip (http://xkcd.com) is just soooo me. yep.. this is my typical brand of humor. wry and just a tad bit too nerdy, hahaha :p

it’s september once again. and, as is usually the case, i find myself in *that* kind of mood again. no, i’m not depressed or melancholy. that rarely happens to me nowadays. but my birth month always seems to bring about a certain kind of edginess and irritability that i could not understand.

i will be turning 31 in a couple of weeks. and while i have nothing against the number 31 (it’s a nice prime number after all, hahaha) i have to admit that i’m not all that happy about being “old.”

ok, it’s not the “growing old” part that i really mind. it’s the “growing up to be an old maid” part that sort of gets to me :p personally, i don’t think there’s anything weird with the idea of being single for the rest of my life. but people seem to think otherwise. i don’t really understand why so many people often associate moods/actions with one’s lovelife (or the nonexistence of it).
“uyy.. blooming ka ah. may papa ka na siguro..”
“hmm.. medyo mataray ka ngayon ah. sige ka, magiging old maid ka nyan..”
“kelan ka ba mag-aasawa? masyado ka ‘yatang mapili kasi..”

am i running out of time? the strip above says i’m doing just fine. and, being such a math-geek, i’d have to agree, haha :)

i enjoy dressing up. i try to make myself look nice. not for anyone else.. but for *me*. and while i do have my “snappy” moments, i certainly hope my “taray” look would not be enough to intimidate any future life partner (otherwise, he simply won’t be worth it haha). and as for marriage?! wahahahaha. boyfriend na lang muna. hindi pa ako handa para diyan :p

psalm 37:4 says “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” even at this age, i know i still have a lot of growing up to do. and before i start seeking my prince charming, i think i’d have to concentrate on delighting myself in my Prince first :) meantime, that special guy will just have to wait :p