for the past 9 years, i’ve been teaching mathematics to 4th year students at our school. i’d have to say that i really enjoy handling senior students. not only because i have a special place in my heart for trigonometry and calculus (hehe). i love teaching 4th year kids because they undergo this subtle yet unmistakable transformation when they are about to graduate. each year, i am always surprised to note their metamorphosis from happy-go-lucky teenagers to hopeful, idealistic and expectant youths looking forward to a new life in college.
last week, i gave a removal exam to 8 of our senior students who earned a grade of 4.0 (conditional failure) in math. the test was a make-or-break exam. pass it and they’d graduate. fail it and they’d have to take summer classes at some other school (or stay in our school for another year).
the students (as well as their parents) were all informed of the pass/fail rules of the removal exam. long before their 4th quarter grades were given, we teachers told them of their academic standing. the kids were advised to review well for the exam.. and to do their very best in answering all the questions (every bit of “partial point” helps, after all).
for two grueling hours, i administered the exam to my students. i could see them seated in the room.. sweating profusely.. cursing under their breaths.. scribbling feverishly on their papers. i knew they were having a tough time yet there was nothing i could do. the time for intervention was over - i could no longer help them.
after the test, i checked their papers. 5 of my students passed (barely!). 3 of them did not. and it was just so difficult.. breaking this sad news to them. can you imagine how hard it is for a teacher to tell her student “sorry, hindi ka nakapasa sa removals. wala nang second chance ‘yon.. sorry..”? how can you say to a mother, “misis, sorry po, pero hindi mo makaka-graduate ang anak ninyo ngayong taon..”? what words of comfort can you give to someone who tried his best yet failed? what consolation can you offer to one whose hopes were dashed to bits? i tell the truth. i love being a teacher.. but moments such as these.. well, they simply suck.
and i started thinking.. life is a lot like schooling. you spend years trying to learn the important lessons. you study. you flounder a bit. you bond with friends. you acquire knowledge. you heed advice and ignore some. you decide whether to cheat or not. you try to manage your time (and allowance) wisely. and all the while, you strive to obtain that much-coveted prize: a highschool diploma. a reward for years of toil.. for a job well-done.
and you realize that no matter how many brainy friends you have, in the end, *only you* can determine whether you pass or fail the final test. no one.. not even your parents or your teachers.. can help you. only your years of diligent and faithful learning (and praying) can aid you.
it scares me to think that i may be unprepared when it’s time for the Lord to give me my “make or break” test. there is nothing more frightening for me than to hear Him tearfully say, “I’m sorry.. I’ve done all I could.. I even gave My Son for you.. but you were too stubborn to listen. now it’s too late..” because i know that God has always reached out to me. He has never scrimped on His blessings and guidance. He never held back His love.
so this Lenten season, i strive to do my share. to learn the lessons i’m supposed to learn. to listen more closely to His teachings. to take to heart more seriously all that the Lord wants to tell me. to be more open to His leading and more obedient to His call.
because i don’t want my reward to rest on the result of a “removal exam.” i want to be sure i get my “diploma” when this life is over. and there is no better time to “work out (my) salvation with fear and trembling” (phil 2:12) than now.
No comments:
Post a Comment