for you to notice

inconspicuous. i guess that’s a good way to describe me. i am, almost always, inconspicuous. to the point of invisibility. normally, this peculiar trait of mine does not bother me so much. but there are moments when i get so exasperated: when people stop to buss the cheek of the person beside me without even giving me a smile or nod; when all concerned parties have been informed of the meeting - except for me, of course; when even my friends cannot seem to see me (“uy, parang may kakaiba sa itsura mo ngayon, ah..” “umm.. kasi pinagupit ko ‘yung hair ko.. mga 7 inches lang naman ang binawas..”)

i’m not hideously ugly, but i’m not stunningly beautiful either. i’m not dumb, but neither am i a genius. i have no special talents (except for my “mirror writing” ability that up to now i have not found much use for, hehe) in a sea of people, i’d easily be lost. my name might as well be “jane doe” - i am just another ordinary face in the crowd.

but wait. i take that back. i am *not* just another face in the crowd. no.. not really. because each time i serve the Lord, it’s as if He not only recognizes me.. but *knows* me. He does not see *through* me.. but sees what’s *in* me. every prayer i utter.. every song i sing.. God seems to pay very special attention to them. He is inordinately interested in ME!

it’s mind-blowing and mind-boggling.. but it’s true. i am special to the God Who created the universe! i don’t know why.. (hey, up to now i still think i’m a very so-so kind of person) but He seems to see something very beautiful in me. God doesn’t sit on His heavenly throne, watching disinterestedly as i pray or sing or dance. in fact, He not only watches me when i worship.. the Lord *participates* as well! He speaks into my heart.. whispering timeless truths about Himself. He heals my brokenness and gives comfort when i become weary. He blesses me with His presence and His love. and He gives me His wholehearted, undivided attention ü

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9 NIV

hmmm. chosen people? set apart? me?!? hard to believe.. but there it is in His own Book! i’ve been chosen.. set apart.. and given the extraordinary privilege of serving Him through this community.

and this is why, after all these years, i still continue in my ministry service. because though i may be invisible to others, i know that to Him, i mean the world (and possibly more) ü and as long as i know He is pleased with what i offer, then i am content.

thank You Lord, for seeing ME. and thank You for loving me enough, not only to die for me, but moreso, for allowing me to start living the life of heaven here on earth ü