i was sorting through my stuff just the other day. old clothes, bags, shoes and other items i hadn’t used in a long, long time were cluttered all over the floor. and as i was organizing my tons of stuff into piles (to be thrown, to be donated, to be kept), one particular item caught my eye.
a pair of shiny, pointy, red high-heeled shoes.
i remember the day i bought that particular pair. i was browsing through the shoe racks at the department store when i saw them. shiny. sophisticated-looking. attention-grabber. hot. i instantly knew i wanted to have those. but i’m not exactly a “red shoe” person.. so i opted to look around first before making any hasty decisions.
i went ‘round the store looking at some of the more practical and comfortable footwear. i tried on several pairs of more “wearable” flat shoes. but the image of those shiny red stilettos kept flashing in my head.
so i went on and bought the pair. i remember feeling so happy at the time. i thought of which blouses or dresses i could match with my red footwear. i imagined myself feeling more elegant (well.. the added height *does* help a lot, hahahahaha!) as i walked in my new shoes.
a few days after, i wore my red stilettos to a special occasion. they made me feel more sophisticated.. and they turned quite a number of heads (haha). but i didn’t wear them again after that.
why? because the shiny, pointy, red high-heeled shoes just weren’t me. they were nice to look at, but not exactly comfortable on my feet. they were flashy and hot, but they didn’t allow me to walk as quickly as i wanted to. besides, it was distracting to always have to make sure i would not slip or stumble as i walked awkwardly in my stilettos.
i’m not planning to throw or give away my red shoes any time soon, though. because they serve as a reminder to me.. that a lot of times, we are *sure* we know what we want in life. and we do anything and everything to get it. only to find out that it really wasn’t what we needed, after all.
brothers and sisters, it’s so easy to be attracted to the fancy trappings of this world. but in the end, all the glitter and flashiness that caught our eyes would never be enough to satisfy us. eventually, we will all go back to the source of our joy and our salvation.. and we will all seek the comfort and peace of our lord :)
“delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” psalm 37:4
he provides for our needs.. he grants our wants and wishes. but most of all, he gives himself to us. and that, really, is all we need.. because he definitely satisfies our desires :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
awit ng paghahangad
minsan, mas espesyal ang luha kaysa ngiti. dahil kahit sino puwede mong ngitian. pero ang luha, totoo lang naipapakita sa taong ‘di mo kayang iwan..
hindi ako iyaking tao. hindi ako humihikbi kapag nanonood ng drama. hindi ako naiiyak sa mga kasal, graduation at iba pang mga “kaiyak-iyak” na selebrasyon. bihirang mangilid ang mga mata ko ng luha.
hindi naman ako bato. hindi lang talaga ako sanay na ipinapakita sa iba ang tunay kong nararamdaman. ang tanging naiiyakan ko lang ay ang mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko nang lubos.
tulad ng iba, mayroong mga bagay na nakakapagpaiyak sa akin. di man ito makita ng ibang tao, minsan naiiyak ako sa galit kapag may nang-api o nakapagbitiw ng hindi magandang salita sa akin. minsan naiiyak ako sa dami ng gawaing kailangang tapusin, gayong pagod na pagod na ako. minsan rin, iniiiyak ko ang pagkainis ko kapag tila walang pinatutunguhan ang lahat ng aking pagsisikap.
pero may pagkakataon rin na, sa aking pag-iisa, umiiyak ako sa panginoon dahil hindi ko siya maramdaman. bagamat parati akong nagsisimba at pumupunta sa mga prayer meeting.. sa kabila ng lingguhang pag-awit ko ng mga papuri sa kanya.. minsan hindi ko pa rin madama ang kanyang presensya.
marahil isa sa pinakamahirap na maranasan ay ang umiyak ng mga luha ng paghahangad - ang naising makapiling ang isang minamahal na tila ayaw magpakita o magparamdam sa iyo. sinasabi sa awit 42:1.. “kung paanong yaong batis ang hanap ng isang usa; gayon hinahanap ang diyos ng uhaw kong kaluluwa”
subalit ang paghahangad sa ating panginoon ay di lamang luha ang idinudulot. ang ating patuloy na paghahanap sa kanya, balang araw, ay magbubunga ng kagalakan at tuwa. sapagkat sa ating pagkauhaw at sa ating pagsunod sa kanyang mga yapak ay magkakaroon tayo ng pusong nakatuon lamang sa kanya. at ito ay magbibigay sa atin, hindi ng luha, kundi ng awit ng paghahangad para sa ating panginoong minamahal.
“gunita ko’y ikaw habang nahihimlay, pagka’t ang tulong mo sa twina’y taglay; sa lilim ng iyong mga pakpak, umaawit akong buong galak..”
hindi ako iyaking tao. hindi ako humihikbi kapag nanonood ng drama. hindi ako naiiyak sa mga kasal, graduation at iba pang mga “kaiyak-iyak” na selebrasyon. bihirang mangilid ang mga mata ko ng luha.
hindi naman ako bato. hindi lang talaga ako sanay na ipinapakita sa iba ang tunay kong nararamdaman. ang tanging naiiyakan ko lang ay ang mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko nang lubos.
tulad ng iba, mayroong mga bagay na nakakapagpaiyak sa akin. di man ito makita ng ibang tao, minsan naiiyak ako sa galit kapag may nang-api o nakapagbitiw ng hindi magandang salita sa akin. minsan naiiyak ako sa dami ng gawaing kailangang tapusin, gayong pagod na pagod na ako. minsan rin, iniiiyak ko ang pagkainis ko kapag tila walang pinatutunguhan ang lahat ng aking pagsisikap.
pero may pagkakataon rin na, sa aking pag-iisa, umiiyak ako sa panginoon dahil hindi ko siya maramdaman. bagamat parati akong nagsisimba at pumupunta sa mga prayer meeting.. sa kabila ng lingguhang pag-awit ko ng mga papuri sa kanya.. minsan hindi ko pa rin madama ang kanyang presensya.
marahil isa sa pinakamahirap na maranasan ay ang umiyak ng mga luha ng paghahangad - ang naising makapiling ang isang minamahal na tila ayaw magpakita o magparamdam sa iyo. sinasabi sa awit 42:1.. “kung paanong yaong batis ang hanap ng isang usa; gayon hinahanap ang diyos ng uhaw kong kaluluwa”
subalit ang paghahangad sa ating panginoon ay di lamang luha ang idinudulot. ang ating patuloy na paghahanap sa kanya, balang araw, ay magbubunga ng kagalakan at tuwa. sapagkat sa ating pagkauhaw at sa ating pagsunod sa kanyang mga yapak ay magkakaroon tayo ng pusong nakatuon lamang sa kanya. at ito ay magbibigay sa atin, hindi ng luha, kundi ng awit ng paghahangad para sa ating panginoong minamahal.
“gunita ko’y ikaw habang nahihimlay, pagka’t ang tulong mo sa twina’y taglay; sa lilim ng iyong mga pakpak, umaawit akong buong galak..”
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
no air
humans and animals exposed to vacuum will lose consciousness after a few seconds and die of hypoxia (shortage of oxygen) within minutes...
- from wikipedia
last month, i went to the wake of a friend’s father. when i asked his widow how he died, she said he died of asthma - his air passage was blocked.. and by the time help arrived, it was too late. he was dead by the time they got him to the hospital.
a few minutes with no air and a person dies.
wow. that sure is a scary thought. i remember trying to imagine what it would feel like, not to be able to take in air. to be in a room filled with oxygen.. but to not be able to breathe it in. i certainly would not want that happening to me.
but who *really* worries about not being able to breathe? only those who have experienced it, i guess. because for the most part, we worry about a lot of other things..
.. the soaring price of fuel.. the rice shortage.. the increase in tuition fees.. the devaluation of the peso.. the rising crime rate..
yes, we are concerned with a lot of things. and these *are* important. but oftentimes, we forget to be concerned about the *essential* things - those that we need to keep us *alive*
like air.
like god.
one moment without god and *everything* ceases to exist.
like most *essential* things, we tend to take the lord for granted. we simply assume that we will continue taking in his blessings and provisions, no matter what our spiritual condition may be.
but like my friend’s father, who could not breathe in the oxygen in his well-aired room, if we are not careful, we might find ourselves in a situation where we can no longer take in god’s blessings of love, mercy and forgiveness. if we continue to neglect our quiet time.. if we refuse to listen to his admonitions.. if we keep on making him our last priority, time may come when our hearts become so hardened that we can no longer hear him nor feel him.
brothers and sisters, we need to keep our spiritual lives healthy. keeping ourselves in tune with god is *not* optional. it is a must, if we want to keep walking the christian walk.
all of life’s problems and cares should never distract us from what is most important: our god. because it is far safer to be in jesus’ boat in the midst of a storm.. than to be sailing on our own, though the sea may be calm.
god bless, everybody.. and stay safe! :)
- from wikipedia
last month, i went to the wake of a friend’s father. when i asked his widow how he died, she said he died of asthma - his air passage was blocked.. and by the time help arrived, it was too late. he was dead by the time they got him to the hospital.
a few minutes with no air and a person dies.
wow. that sure is a scary thought. i remember trying to imagine what it would feel like, not to be able to take in air. to be in a room filled with oxygen.. but to not be able to breathe it in. i certainly would not want that happening to me.
but who *really* worries about not being able to breathe? only those who have experienced it, i guess. because for the most part, we worry about a lot of other things..
.. the soaring price of fuel.. the rice shortage.. the increase in tuition fees.. the devaluation of the peso.. the rising crime rate..
yes, we are concerned with a lot of things. and these *are* important. but oftentimes, we forget to be concerned about the *essential* things - those that we need to keep us *alive*
like air.
like god.
one moment without god and *everything* ceases to exist.
like most *essential* things, we tend to take the lord for granted. we simply assume that we will continue taking in his blessings and provisions, no matter what our spiritual condition may be.
but like my friend’s father, who could not breathe in the oxygen in his well-aired room, if we are not careful, we might find ourselves in a situation where we can no longer take in god’s blessings of love, mercy and forgiveness. if we continue to neglect our quiet time.. if we refuse to listen to his admonitions.. if we keep on making him our last priority, time may come when our hearts become so hardened that we can no longer hear him nor feel him.
brothers and sisters, we need to keep our spiritual lives healthy. keeping ourselves in tune with god is *not* optional. it is a must, if we want to keep walking the christian walk.
all of life’s problems and cares should never distract us from what is most important: our god. because it is far safer to be in jesus’ boat in the midst of a storm.. than to be sailing on our own, though the sea may be calm.
god bless, everybody.. and stay safe! :)
Monday, June 9, 2008
summer’s almost gone
summer’s almost over. we all know that ‘coz school’s starting again. i’ve readied all my “schoolstuff” hehe. i have my new notebooks, pens, board markers and record books ready. i cleaned out my teacher’s desk too.. it’s now prepared for the onslaught of papers i’ll be checking this coming week. i even have a printout of my sked for this semester. yup. i’ve prepared almost everything i need for the start of classes.
except my mind :p
*sigh* truth be told, i don’t *want* to go back to school. not *yet* anyway. in spite of the heat and all the “evils” summer brings, i’d have to say i’m going to miss the vacation :p
i wasn’t able to do much traveling during summer break. with all the lectures, teacher training seminars and other involvements i had this may, i didn’t have time to go out of town. no parties.. no vacations in tagaytay.. not even a wade in the swimming pool.
i was, however, able to spend a lot of time with the family - something that doesn’t always happen during school days (work and service in the community do take up a lot of our time). we were able to watch movies together.. eat dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant.. bond in front of the boob tube (and pc hehehe).. and basically just laze around the house haha. it may sound boring to most.. but i do treasure those moments. simple moments that i get to be with the people i love most - my dad and my mom :)
and now that summer’s almost gone, part of me is sulking that the vacation will be coming to a halt. but it doesn’t really bother me all that much. why? because i’m pretty sure of one thing: no matter what season it is, i know my father will always have time for me :)
i’ve written a lot about my dad.. how he’s done so much for me.. and how he shows his love in big and small ways. i’ve said countless times how great he is. he’s intelligent, sensitive, friendly, wise, wacky and hard-working. he’s god-fearing and helpful and he knows a lot of stuff (especially about computers and gadgets :p) but all these wonderful traits pale next to the fact that he is always there for me.. and my mom. he’s there during “summer” days when everything is laid-back and fun. but he’s also there to bail me out during “stormy” days when everything seems to fall apart.
just like my heavenly father :)
and for that (as well as many more wonderful reasons), i love him :p
happy father’s day with love :)
except my mind :p
*sigh* truth be told, i don’t *want* to go back to school. not *yet* anyway. in spite of the heat and all the “evils” summer brings, i’d have to say i’m going to miss the vacation :p
i wasn’t able to do much traveling during summer break. with all the lectures, teacher training seminars and other involvements i had this may, i didn’t have time to go out of town. no parties.. no vacations in tagaytay.. not even a wade in the swimming pool.
i was, however, able to spend a lot of time with the family - something that doesn’t always happen during school days (work and service in the community do take up a lot of our time). we were able to watch movies together.. eat dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant.. bond in front of the boob tube (and pc hehehe).. and basically just laze around the house haha. it may sound boring to most.. but i do treasure those moments. simple moments that i get to be with the people i love most - my dad and my mom :)
and now that summer’s almost gone, part of me is sulking that the vacation will be coming to a halt. but it doesn’t really bother me all that much. why? because i’m pretty sure of one thing: no matter what season it is, i know my father will always have time for me :)
i’ve written a lot about my dad.. how he’s done so much for me.. and how he shows his love in big and small ways. i’ve said countless times how great he is. he’s intelligent, sensitive, friendly, wise, wacky and hard-working. he’s god-fearing and helpful and he knows a lot of stuff (especially about computers and gadgets :p) but all these wonderful traits pale next to the fact that he is always there for me.. and my mom. he’s there during “summer” days when everything is laid-back and fun. but he’s also there to bail me out during “stormy” days when everything seems to fall apart.
just like my heavenly father :)
and for that (as well as many more wonderful reasons), i love him :p
happy father’s day with love :)
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
ctrl+z
out of all the computer (shortcut) commands that i use in typing, i’d have to say that this is my favorite. yup, next to ctrl+s (which allows me to save my typewritten document), ctrl+z is the one that i use the most.
so what does ctrl+z do? well, this command lets you undo the last operation you performed. and what’s great is that you can keep on pressing ctrl+z until you get rid of all your wrong steps. cool ü
as i am writing down this piece, i tried counting the number of times i used undo commands. here’s the breakdown as of now:
ctrl+z : 13 times
backspace : 9 times
delete : 12 times
hmm. no wonder i find it so difficult to simply write down my articles on a piece of paper. i make too many mistakes.. too many revisions.. that i’d probably use up half my notebook just to finalize one article contribution in this newsletter, hehehe :p
wouldn’t it be great if we also had a ctrl+z command that we could use in real life? imagine if we could always undo our mistakes and replace our wrong decisions with the right ones. no regrets. wow.
in isaiah 1:18, the lord himself said:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
brothers and sisters, as children of god, we have something even better than a ctrl+z command. it’s called forgiveness ü and all we really need to do to obtain it is to get down on our knees each time we fall, and like the psalmist in psalm 51, pray “cleanse me with hyssop, and i will be clean; wash me, and i will be whiter than snow.“
we have been washed with the blood of jesus (1 peter 1:19).. and each time we come to him, we are made whiter than snow ü that sure beats any “undo” command i know :p
so what does ctrl+z do? well, this command lets you undo the last operation you performed. and what’s great is that you can keep on pressing ctrl+z until you get rid of all your wrong steps. cool ü
as i am writing down this piece, i tried counting the number of times i used undo commands. here’s the breakdown as of now:
ctrl+z : 13 times
backspace : 9 times
delete : 12 times
hmm. no wonder i find it so difficult to simply write down my articles on a piece of paper. i make too many mistakes.. too many revisions.. that i’d probably use up half my notebook just to finalize one article contribution in this newsletter, hehehe :p
wouldn’t it be great if we also had a ctrl+z command that we could use in real life? imagine if we could always undo our mistakes and replace our wrong decisions with the right ones. no regrets. wow.
in isaiah 1:18, the lord himself said:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
brothers and sisters, as children of god, we have something even better than a ctrl+z command. it’s called forgiveness ü and all we really need to do to obtain it is to get down on our knees each time we fall, and like the psalmist in psalm 51, pray “cleanse me with hyssop, and i will be clean; wash me, and i will be whiter than snow.“
we have been washed with the blood of jesus (1 peter 1:19).. and each time we come to him, we are made whiter than snow ü that sure beats any “undo” command i know :p
natutulog ba ang diyos?
hindi ako sanay matulog nang gabi. lagi akong maagang matulog. ay.. mali.. hindi pala. lagi pala akong umaga kung matulog, hehe :p
ewan ko nga ba. kahit gaano ako kapagod, at kahit gaano ako inaantok, hindi pa rin ako makatulog nang mas maaga sa alas dose nang madaling araw. humiga man ako nang alas diyes, hindi titigil ang utak ko sa kaiisip hanggang hindi pa nagmamadaling-araw.
mahirap ang magkaroon ng insomnia :( isipin mo, pagod ang katawan mo at pagod ang isip mo pero hindi ka makapagpahinga. naisin mo mang mahimbing, hindi mo naman magawang matulog. at siyempre, isa sa pinakamahirap para sa isang insomniac tulad ko ay ang nakakabibinging katahimikan. siyempre, kapag madaling-araw, wala kang makakausap. haha, siguro kahit ang pinakamatalik mong kaibigan ay hindi papayag na makipag-usap sa ‘yo sa telepono (o makipag-text) magdamagan nang pitong araw sunud-sunod para lang antukin ka.
naisip ko tuloy minsan, paano kaya ang diyos? hindi kaya siya napapagod? sa dami ng mga panalanging naririnig niya mula sa atin araw-araw, gabi-gabi.. hindi ba siya naiirita?! haha.. ako nga, kapag nagkukulang ako sa tulog nang sunud-sunod na araw, halos ‘di na maipinta ang mukha ko. pa’no pa kaya siya, na pirmi nating kinukulit dahil sa mga “unanswered prayer” natin? bakit nga ba hindi nagpapahinga ang diyos?!
hindi ko alam ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ipinapahinga ng diyos ang kanyang mga tenga sa ating mga dasal. hindi ko alam kung saan niya hinuhugot ang walang-patid niyang pagpapasensya at pag-uunawa. hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit pakiramdam ko, natatawa siya sa akin habang tinatanong ko ang mga bagay na ito (totoo.. tumatawa siya ngayon, hahaha).
basta ang alam ko, nagpapasalamat ako’t parati siyang gising :) dahil sa mga pagkakataong wala akong makausap o makasama, nakakagaan ng isip at kaloobang malaman na nandiyan lang siya sa tabi ko. nagbabantay, nakikinig, dumaramay at oo.. minsan.. tumatawa :)
ewan ko nga ba. kahit gaano ako kapagod, at kahit gaano ako inaantok, hindi pa rin ako makatulog nang mas maaga sa alas dose nang madaling araw. humiga man ako nang alas diyes, hindi titigil ang utak ko sa kaiisip hanggang hindi pa nagmamadaling-araw.
mahirap ang magkaroon ng insomnia :( isipin mo, pagod ang katawan mo at pagod ang isip mo pero hindi ka makapagpahinga. naisin mo mang mahimbing, hindi mo naman magawang matulog. at siyempre, isa sa pinakamahirap para sa isang insomniac tulad ko ay ang nakakabibinging katahimikan. siyempre, kapag madaling-araw, wala kang makakausap. haha, siguro kahit ang pinakamatalik mong kaibigan ay hindi papayag na makipag-usap sa ‘yo sa telepono (o makipag-text) magdamagan nang pitong araw sunud-sunod para lang antukin ka.
naisip ko tuloy minsan, paano kaya ang diyos? hindi kaya siya napapagod? sa dami ng mga panalanging naririnig niya mula sa atin araw-araw, gabi-gabi.. hindi ba siya naiirita?! haha.. ako nga, kapag nagkukulang ako sa tulog nang sunud-sunod na araw, halos ‘di na maipinta ang mukha ko. pa’no pa kaya siya, na pirmi nating kinukulit dahil sa mga “unanswered prayer” natin? bakit nga ba hindi nagpapahinga ang diyos?!
hindi ko alam ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ipinapahinga ng diyos ang kanyang mga tenga sa ating mga dasal. hindi ko alam kung saan niya hinuhugot ang walang-patid niyang pagpapasensya at pag-uunawa. hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit pakiramdam ko, natatawa siya sa akin habang tinatanong ko ang mga bagay na ito (totoo.. tumatawa siya ngayon, hahaha).
basta ang alam ko, nagpapasalamat ako’t parati siyang gising :) dahil sa mga pagkakataong wala akong makausap o makasama, nakakagaan ng isip at kaloobang malaman na nandiyan lang siya sa tabi ko. nagbabantay, nakikinig, dumaramay at oo.. minsan.. tumatawa :)
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